Real Cowgirls Drive Ford Tauruses

Kirby 2 Bruckners 0


We have a cow/calf pair in the corral that we have been having a hard time keeping in. They don’t seem to realize why we keep putting them back in there, when all they have to do is jump, or break, the fence and be quickly reunited with their old herd. We have Rosie back in, but have yet to convince Kirby to go through the gate and stay with his mom.

Saturday we decided to see if we could just chase Kirby over to our side, and see if we could trick him through.

D askes: “You wanna go out and see if you can get him up here while I stay by the gate?”

”Sure….in the car?”

”Why not?”

“Ok”

Now, a little history. These are not OUR cows, but a friend of ours who have the cattle on my parents pasture. They probably are really sweet cows, and are a lot of fun…when you are dealing with them through a fence. There is this one cow out there who gives me the creeps. She is black, has eyes that seem to follow you wherever you are at, and has horns that must be some sort of record. Personally I believe she is some sort of evil mutated longhorn. She scares me. A lot. I'll refer to her "Killer Cow."

So T and I head out in my car. We could have taken the jeep, but the jeep and I do not have a good relationship. The top is not on it right now, which would not be good when dealing with Killer Cow, and the last time I drove it I went straight through a wooden gate.

So there we are, out in the pasture, where I am sure truckers are having a good chuckle seeing this little car out herding…er…make that attempting to herd…these cows. All we were really doing was going around and around their grass bale. They didn’t really seem to concerned about me and defiantly not enough to leave their bale full of wonderfulness.

I drive off about 40 feet and stop to think what my next plan of action would be. About this time, T rolls his window down and starts to shake his Tic-Tac container.

“T, do you think if I just start honking they will follow?

”Uh….Mom?”

“Well, I wonder if I go at them from the other side if they will run this way?”

”UH…MOM???”

“Hang on T, I am thinking.”

”GO MOM!! GO!!!!!”

T is still shaking his Tic-Tac container, and I look in the side mirror. You know where it says “objects in mirror may be closer than they appear? Well, Killer Cow was in my mirror and I could see in it was her nose and eyes..and she was RUNNING! I take off in the car, and call D, trying really hard not to be all girly and scream and stuff, all while these cows think T has a container of cow cake..and they want it…BAD!!

D’s griping, because all he wants me to bring was Kirby, and all I can think about is getting the main gate open and getting out so I don’t get ran over. D got me through the gate and got it closed just as Killer Cow rounds the corner.

I’m safe.

The cows are pissed they have been fooled.

And Kirby never did get close enough for us to round up.

We REALLY need to buy a pickup.

I felt sorry for them and threw some cake out for them anyway.

D, very lovingly, made some sort of comment about me operating the gate next time, while he gets some “guys” to help him.

Sounds ok to me.