A Glimpse Of Dad

Thursday evening I ran over to see one of my cousins who was visiting. He was standing in the yard as I pulled up. The closer I got to him, the more air left my body.

His eyes.
He has my dads eyes.

I KNEW this. But I had forgotten.
 
My Dad's family was blessed with these amazing, sky blue, soul piercing, blue eyes. I'd like to know just how far back they go, but I only know that my Granddad had them. My Dad had them, and I'm pretty sure most of his siblings do too. Guy, my cousin, also has a grandson with the very same eyes.  Some of us, sadly, were skipped. Others, like Tristen, got the blue eyes, just a darker version.  Genetics are very cool.

After I got came out of my shock, it made my heart smile. 

 I could still catch a glimpse of my dad.

Sometimes I hear my dad's voice come out of Jacob's mouth.  Mostly, its his warped sense of humor.  And while I may be lecturing on appropriateness or giving a dirty MOM look, I always think "Oh my gosh...my dad would be laughing his a** off at this!" 

This journey has changed a lot since December 3rd. I try to explain it, but I just can't. Mostly, I felt a lot of panic those first few weeks. Panic that he was gone. It just seems to change form. Reality has set it. I'm no longer panicked. I just miss him. More than I ever thought it was possible to miss someone.

The headstone was delivered earlier this week. I thought his grave looked so sad without a stone, and thought it would be "better"..whatever that means...when it arrived. Turns out, it was just another one of those moments.

 Holy crap...this is real, isn't it?