Tuesday, March 5, 2013

A Change

My weight has been the topic here many times here at my blog. It is my struggle.

I decided to challenge myself for 12 weeks.

12 weeks.

3 months.

I thought I would blog about my journey once a week, to keep my self accountable.

I did this with soda. Challenging myself to see if I could do it. Tomorrow will be 12 weeks since I have had a soda.  =)  I'm hoping I have the same good results with this.

Today, this post will be about humiliation.   I am sure ALL obese people have a story about humiliation, but I really, other than a comment here and there from little kid, I have never really experienced this. Until last night at a fitness class.

You know the fat kid you had in gym class?? The guy that always a lap or two behind everyone else? That was me. Now there were people there just as out of shape as I was, and NO ONE said anything to make me uncomfortable, its just I was humiliated with MYSELF. How and when did this happen?  Its a bit humbling to be knocked completely on your butt, and realize you have not only hit rock bottom, but will have to climb OUT of a sink hole to be even considered  TO BE AT the bottom.

I puked. I struggled. I am 33 years old, fat and uncoordinated. I wanted to die. Thought I WAS going to die a few times.  I was terrified people would see me doing the exercises, yet afraid people would see me NOT being able to do the exercises. Wasn't sure I was going to get out to the car with my watery jello like legs. 

BUT-- getting rid of the negative attitude! I showed up. I didn't do numbers of everything like most everyone else, but I did it. And, as the girl said to me who taught the class, I burned more calories than the people who made excuses  and stayed at home.

Today finds me sore, a bit sick, and extremely proud. 

A quote that spoke to me today: 

No matter how slow you go,  you are still lapping everyone on the couch.


Megan said...

WAY to GO, Becky!

~Gardener on Sherlock Street said...

Good job. Just keep at it!

Sara said...

Awesome Becky!! I am so proud of you for taking charge of your life and making the choices that will make the changes. I am also so proud of you for choosing to blog about your journey. I often find myself leaving things off my blog because I just don't want to share some of those personal things and risk being judged or ridiculed by my peers!! I have really been feeling the need/urge/call to quit soda recently, but I have been fighting tooth and nail against it!! I just don't WANT to, but I know that someone who knows a lot more than me is telling me that I need to let it go and I need to do so RIGHT now!! You might have just been the motivation I needed to see myself at least give it a try!

Melanie said...

Hope the next workout went better!! It's all about lifestyle changes. .people just tend to think (all people) that they will be the one that DOESN'T need to make the changes to make the difference!! Keep off the pop for sure. .and hang in there with the exercise. .and get some stuff you can do at home to augment what you are doing with the group. .and more importantly. .you have to make changes FOR life. .so hang in there and figure out what you can live with..and without!! Love you!!

Rhonda said...

Good for you, Becky! Best wishes! Today was day one for me of a "week with no pop." Just starting with a small challenge. :)