A Change

My weight has been the topic here many times here at my blog. It is my struggle.

I decided to challenge myself for 12 weeks.

12 weeks.

3 months.

I thought I would blog about my journey once a week, to keep my self accountable.

I did this with soda. Challenging myself to see if I could do it. Tomorrow will be 12 weeks since I have had a soda.  =)  I'm hoping I have the same good results with this.

Today, this post will be about humiliation.   I am sure ALL obese people have a story about humiliation, but I really, other than a comment here and there from little kid, I have never really experienced this. Until last night at a fitness class.

You know the fat kid you had in gym class?? The guy that always a lap or two behind everyone else? That was me. Now there were people there just as out of shape as I was, and NO ONE said anything to make me uncomfortable, its just I was humiliated with MYSELF. How and when did this happen?  Its a bit humbling to be knocked completely on your butt, and realize you have not only hit rock bottom, but will have to climb OUT of a sink hole to be even considered  TO BE AT the bottom.

I puked. I struggled. I am 33 years old, fat and uncoordinated. I wanted to die. Thought I WAS going to die a few times.  I was terrified people would see me doing the exercises, yet afraid people would see me NOT being able to do the exercises. Wasn't sure I was going to get out to the car with my watery jello like legs. 

BUT-- getting rid of the negative attitude! I showed up. I didn't do numbers of everything like most everyone else, but I did it. And, as the girl said to me who taught the class, I burned more calories than the people who made excuses  and stayed at home.

Today finds me sore, a bit sick, and extremely proud. 

A quote that spoke to me today: 

No matter how slow you go,  you are still lapping everyone on the couch.