Thursday, May 31, 2012

A Different Post

I don't post a lot about personal things. Sometimes, though, you just get that nudge to write about something. This one is hard for me to talk about, much less put out there for the entire world to see. But here goes.

I am sick and tired of struggling with my weight.

Yep. There. I said it.

I'm tired of that look people get when they haven't seen you for a long time. I'm tired of never feeling good enough. I'm tired of the "well, it DOES run in your family" remarks. I'm tired of my kids having the fat mom, and the comments and questions they have to endure. I'm tired of feeling like crap. I may not weight 500 lbs, but my body just doesn't feel well at the weight I'm at.  I'm tired of the scale wars.  I'm tired of the feeling of doom when I know I need to weigh myself, and the feeling of shame when the number isn't what I wanted to see. I'm tired of watching my stick skinny husband eat twice as much as me, and me being the one that gets to go up a jean size.

Is this post going to change anything? No. But I'm acknowledging my problem and maybe with the feeling of admittance, I will feel more comfortable posting about it and my journey.

Everyone fights some sort of fight. This is mine.


ragtime4361 said...

Oh, Becky, you've just written down what I feel, too! Sometimes I think that if I could just break my arms so that food couldn't get into my mouth, but I also know that doesn't work. I've yo-yo'd up & down for so long, & I, too HATE the up that I am right now.
Acknowledgement IS good, now if we can just find a plan that makes us happy, and thinner, so that we feel good...well, let's just do our best! Remember that your skinny man & your boys love you, & my skinny man loves me. That's all that matters in the whole scheme of things!

Melanie said...

There are truly people that aren't blessed with good genetics and metabolisms. .I always feel bad for those who have to engage in that life-long struggle!! And it is good to keep in perspective the fact that everyone struggles with something. .some struggles are obvious, like weight or idiocracy. .and some are not, like depression or marital problems. .Hang in there!! You are loved!

Rhonda said...

Thanks for sharing that, Becky. Along with that... you are a really neat gal that I am glad to know. :)