Excitement and Anxiety

Things I have learned about my family and I during vacation planning:

I CAN take a vacation and the world around me will not crumble.
I've never thought I could because of daycare.  I felt like I was letting everyone down by not being here.  One of my former class instructors told me recently that instead of feeling guilty for taking time off that I should think of it as a "recharge" and  that I would be a refreshed provider afterward.  None of my parents have yelled at me...yet.   I have had issues, though, worrying about my families and where everyone would find care, if the kids would get along ok,  --things like that.  It feels a bit like the first day  I watch them get on the bus for preschool/kindergarten.  They may not be my kids, but I still love them and worry about them.  I love my families too, and do not want them inconvenienced either.  I am in need of a "recharge" though.

D and I have learned a lot more about our spending habits and saving money through planning this adventure.  We CAN save more money than we originally thought we could, (especially when it is for something FUN) and I hope to continue putting more money in savings even when we are not planning a trip. ;-)

My kids can not phantom a world outside of flat Kansas and I am anxious to see their reactions to the big wide world.  T can't figure out how/why the ocean can be so salty, since obviously our lake is NOT, and why it would burn your eyes.  J can't WAIT to see the ocean for the first time.  He's also big into bird watching at the moment, and is hoping to see all kinds of birds you don't see here.

I am scared to leave my house.  There is my confession for the day.  No, I don't mean SCARED as in  agoraphobia scared.   I am just worried and anxious. About everything. About someone breaking in, about my flowers, about the garden, about the bunnies, about our poor dog who will be boarded at the vet and I am sure will think he chewed on one too many books and that we left him forever...  My mom patiently reassures me if will all be ok and taken care of, but I haven't left my house for more than overnight since I gave birth to T 10 years ago. (How sad is THAT??)

So there are my thoughts and worries for the day....M, do you think I need medication? ;-)